Shane Warne, Muralitharan, Kumble and other Spinners called in to tackle Anna, BCCI is responsible for ANNA’s movement:

Our leaders are looking for spinners, and GoI are going through all lengths to spin things in their favour. Before I move ahead, let me introduce you to the concept of spin doctors.

Spin Doctors (as wiki): In public relations, spin is a form of propaganda, achieved through providing an interpretation of an event or campaign to persuade public opinion in favor or against a certain organization or public figure. While traditional public relations may also rely on creative presentation of the facts, “spin” often, though not always, implies disingenuous, deceptive and/or highly manipulative tactics.

So with failing of primary speakers, now they bring in a second battalion of people. What I think which has irked the political class is how come without Biryani or beer or a transport how come so many dumb (for them) Indian is following a man. The British thought of Gandhi the same, and we know what happened to them.

In the move ‘Wag the Dog’ (1997), the US President with a falling rating and a sex scandal needed to divert attention. So a spin doctor was brought in to create a fake war in Albania.

Not that I am giving ideas, but the media spin doctors are trying their level best. Listen to the following which have been taking from different news channels (summarizing it):

  • Operation Discredit Movement Heads
    • Kiran Bedi is not above the law, she is trying to badkhofying the Delhi police to rise up. She herself hit lawyers but no naga’s sadhus saying they are praying (two separate incidents not related), but trying to paint the picture she mayhave a Saffron thinking
    • Bushan IT returns (Sr one), has irrelevant claim so that he does not pay taxes
    • Surfacing of a CD which speaks of deal making
    • Looking into Anna’s past to find something wrong and suspicious
    • In a tweet a anchor saying that, what will the middle class youth react if they know Anna want to trash people who drink
  • Operation Mock People
    • UPA spokes people: ‘Who is civil society?’  (I hope he got his message – ONE TIGHT SLAP). Only Parliamentarian can make laws, if you want come and fight elections.
    • People are corrupt themselves and its all hypocrisy. In fact international articles are coming giving this view. (may be sponsored again)
    • When Kejriwal was interviewed by on the prop up channels the announcer laughed in a mocking way when he said that their version Lokpal bill the investigator has less powers then a Class ‘X’(don’t remember) officer of govt. Even income tax officer of a particular grade can investigate, judge and prosecute Chief Justice, PM for their income tax returns. The fun part was to see her face as Keriwal gave an explanation; it showed embarrassment indicating that she herself has not read the bill or a OPPS movement this is something they should not be broadcasting
  • Bring in non-political celebrities
    • Nandan Nilekaniin one of the channels giving his view. Good view it was saying that why the hullubo about this bill and one bill will not change anything. He has a point when he said it is one of the 10-15 things which needs to be done. So my rebuttal to him is – Boss ‘ek se tho shuro karo’ , start from atleast one. And also no bill is good – if reservation bill has not solved the generations of inequality then Mr Nandan Nilekani, please please….tell the
      reservation bill is not correct and it should be cancelled.
      The funny thing was to see the anchor’s face – like the director was saying ‘show serious-show serious and shocked face’. Go to Bollywood now…wait…. Zollywood!!!
  • People supporting are Mob:
    • Harping that anti-social elements are there. Pickpockets in RajGhat etc, so movement should
      be stopped. Eh!!!!
    • They are disturbing people around Tihar Jail area
    • They are dirtying the place (come on)
  • Foreign Hand
    • There is money coming from outside
    • America is responsible (when John Mccain was in town this happened)
    • How are people organizing themselves – boss…cheta…we have brains to do that, we don’t need false leaders to show us that.
  • And their favorite – RSS angle
    • A Channel was showing a recording of a ranting lady, telling RSS is there, but that show was broadcasted after Baba’s Ramdev strike.

My satirical answers to Anna’s movement are that BCCI is responsible; they are giving money so that India’s performance against England is hidden. So these are the hidden spin doctors you need. Get the spinners.

In twitter some people ask Bharath Mata photo is removed, I say it is fine as the issue is corruption only! Let’s keep it that way. No violence lets question to get some answers. Given a choice no one wants to be corrupt….and lets get the answers from GoI now. If the answer does not come then…

Disclaimer: I am dead and ranting from my grave. No disrespect meant, just want to say good morning to my honorable leaders.

Source:
http://indiatoday.intoday.in/site/story/What+the+Sharm+el-Sheikh+spin+doctors+forgot/1/53936.html
http://www.outlookindia.com/article.aspx?204929
http://www.indianexpress.com/news/spin-doctors/808052/
http://blogs.wsj.com/indiarealtime/2010/09/01/saffron-spin-doctors-pummeled-by-press/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wag_the_Dog
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spin_Doctor
http://im.rediff.com/cricket/2010/jul/23slde1.jpg

Quit India Movement Redux – Angrezo Bharat Chodo! (But the opposite Happened!)

The British Raj Begins, as Mr. Murphy takes India down.

Two days before the Indian Independence Day, and One day before Pakistan’s, the British Raj begins again in 2011. How ironic 64 years after they left, they are now going to rule the Test ranking of the game they invented…and they not taken or snatched it from us, we have surrendered to them.

Before I go further let me introduce you to Mr. Murphy, who developed The Murphy Law which states that ‘Anything that can go wrong will go wrong’. This law is used a lot in aerospace lingo and engineers try work around this corollary albeit to a lesser degree of success.

Perhaps no other match in the recent history appeared to be so important to the Indian cricket team as the third test match. Being outplayed in the first two tests, the Indian team is currently brooding an uphill task to continue their reign in the longer version of the game… but alas the Lagan moment did not come. Did we miss a trick or we missed players like Bhuvan and Kachra in the team.

So let’s see how Murphy ’s Law has worked for team India(or should I say BCCI’s team) in this tour:

Pre Tour:
Have I made it large controversy – Do I need to say more, Mr. KF!
Injuries to Sehwag meant an opener short.

First and Second Test:
Bonked out as the team could not get the act together as big moments were not snatched.
DRS system…wait, Dysfunctional DRS system – No LBW comes to haunt India.

  • Imagine if DRS was not taken then Dhoni would have got KP out in the first game and then wala-wala (B.C.C.I should have refused DRS in the first place)
  • If complete DRS taken then LBW decision would have come in favour of India (B.C.C.I should have taken the DRS)
  • In short – If I do damn or if I don’t damn! Beech-wali haal hogayi. B.C.C.I tussi great ho!
  • In the second game we lost our other opener in a Ghambir fashion, and the other-other-other opener lasted less the Boycott’s mother calling him for tea.

Commentary Masla (Issue): As soon as Gavastri (Gavaskar and Shastri), spoke about how DRS system does not work and Shastri went one-on-one with Nasir Hussein on it… we get to know both are on a payroll of B.C.C.I, Rs. 4.5 Crores each (USD 1 Million) . WoW!!!

  • A food for thought – Ravi Shastri is in a committee which approved DRS, and yet he speaks against it… something not right. What was his voting patern?
  • Now the Brits had our commentators on the back-foot or was it disgruntled Indian who leaked out a message

Ghanta Issue: To Bell or not to Bell the spirit of the cricket issue, here also damn if we do, damn if you don’t. British media spoke of Tendulkar at the deciding factor and not Dhoni! The Old Divide and Rule thingy!

Tour Game: A much awaited answer to the queries regarding Zaheer Khan’s fitness soon came out in the practice game against some Northing team. Right from delivering the opening ball, he never looked to be comfortable. His run-up was shortened and he was not also bending his back up to the fullest level. Just after completing his 3 overs, he walked off the field with the team physio, holding his hamstring… and this some Northing team took the Indian bowlers for CHAI-BISCUIT as they went to tea at the day 2 at a score of 198 for no loss. The alarm bell had rung!!!!

Third Test: The butcher of Nazafgarh, as Sehwag our DEV-ASTRA, was all set to be introduced for the first time in the series through this match… for which he travelled more than 4000 miles to get a king pair or did a mini Agarkar. I still remember in the 90’s when Navjot Siddhu was pulled in as an emergency to Australia…guess what happened…a duck

  • When India was bowling it was looking an Indian pitch, and when we were batting it was looking as India pitch – (Nagpur one of Australia series which dada did not captain but Dravid did, this was before honorable Pawar came to power, and a green top was given to Aussies by ground staff)

But for me the game –set-match was done in West-Indies when we did not chase down the runs. Imagine the IPL members did not have the courage to go and fight. A defensive attitude, if we would have won that, then there could be a chance of winning the last game and holding on to the 1st position.

Read about Dhoni’s condom moment part II here – http://princecalledsourav.blogspot.com/2011/07/dhonis-condom-moment-part-ii.html

Its been two years since dada was made to retire, but they still could not finalize that spot for a player. Its been a musical chairs. I dread to think two years down the line…No Dravid – VVS and Sachin!!!!

So what’s next. I fully agree to Cricket Fauj statement…LETS BUILD A SEPARATE TEST TEAM – Sehwag, Gambhir, Virat Kohli, Pujara, Badrinath, Dhoni, Harbajan, Praveen Kumar, Ishant Sharma, Amit Mishra, Couple of other fast bowlers.

From Face-Tweet Land: (I remember when people made dada jokes like this…how times have changed)
What do u call eleven man watching fireworks? ? Indian Cricket Team 😀
Even English players dnt want to miss EPL action so they’re taking wickets quickly !!
India leads Cook by 174 runs. He needs to bat again! 😉 Target 175 for Cook.
Edgbaston Test: Ishant, sreesanth, mishra completed their hundreds.. PK in nervous 90’s…!
300 seems to be a jinxed score, even cook could not get it, not just India 😛
My mum plays d rising ball better than Raina.–Si r Geoffrey Boycott.
Vaseline on dravid’s bat this time:-P
Indian batsmen are like faithful husbands.. … they perform only at home……

Source:
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-xezxzEUCZL0/RkCWdLVn5mI/AAAAAAAAAqA/Aq-QPonxG_0/amul28.jpg

Disclaimer: All in the pun of it of a disgrunted Indian Pankha. But remember after the 1983 victory we lost West Indies series in India. So nothing to worry… the preparation and planning was not done, but it can be amended. India is going to win the next test match.

Operation Shaving-Beard: Worlds’ Greatest Detectives Converge in New Delhi to Solve Kalamadi Case (X-Files)

Kalamadi becomes Ghajini, so will Raja… Baja and Taja

Sitting across the round table are the world’s greatest detectives and crime fighters – Perry Mason, Miss Marple, Nancy Drew, Hercule Poirot, Simon Templar, Feluda, Byomkesh Bakshi and the best Sherlock Holmes. They have been called in by the Indian public to find where the CWG Delhi 2010 money has disappeared.

‘I know why we can’t solve it… its not present at all – nothing ever happened. The Indian public is living in their imagination’, said Perry Mason
‘What do you mean mon Ami?’ asked Poirot.
‘There is no crime’, replied back Perry Mason.
‘Yes he is right, if thousands of crores (millions of USD) of Iron Ore can be exported without anyone knowing in this country then a lot of ghosts works here’, said Miss Marple.
 ‘You mean it’s the X-files!’ said Nancy Drew and Simon Templar together. Simon winked at Nancy.

‘Aha…then we need Dana and Scully from the FBI’ said Feluda optimistically. All looked at Feluda in silence. Sherlock stood up, hands spread around the table with his head bent down, he spoke softly.

‘Even they will not be able to solve it…Kalamadi is the most intelligent person in this world…do a crime which never existed in first place. Its all in a imagination’
‘Does it mean we are all out of a job now?’ said Byomkesh Bakshi in a sarcastic tone.
Silence enveloped the chamber as they knew the succeeded in solving the crime but failed to bring justice.

Amen!

Woha…..this did happen in my dream and we Indian as a nation now sits in the ruins of our ancient glory. Every odd day out, the broadcasting media come out with some news or the other that speaks of the degeneration of the entire system. Criminalisation and corruption are perhaps the two most common evil practices that are found widely in the present day Indian politics.

The reports on recently concluded Commonwealth Games (CWG) also point towards the same thing. The scandal revolves round improper allocation of resources, violation of rules to propagate favouritism, substantial financial irregularities, etc.

See the following analysis on mockery of numbers – (BPOs, KPO’s listen we no longer low cost/ economic destination). London Olympics 2012 vs. CWG Delhi 2010

  • Cost of London Olympics – USD $15 Billion (21 games events sold out 23)
    • Number of athletes participating : 10500
    • Number of countries sending athletes: 205
  • Cost of CWG Delhi 2010 – Ranges from USD $2.6 Billion  to USD $11.5 Billion
    • Number of athletes participating : 6081 (42% less then London 2012)
    • Number of countries sending athletes: 71 (65% less then London 2012)

Now comes the fun part:

  • CWG Delhi 2010: Average cost per athletes at per range of CWG estimate: US$ 0.4 million to US$ 1.9 million
  • London Olympics 2012: Average cost per athletes: US$ 1.4 million
  • CWG Delhi 2010: Average cost per country at per range of CWG estimate: US$ 36 million to US$ 162 million
  • London Olympics 2012: Average cost per athletes: US$ 73 million

So we had almost a mega Olympics like event without even we noticing it…ghosts around. And what did our leadership do?

Right after the completion of the event, under the direction of Ministry of Home Affairs and an intervention of the Indian Prime Minister Dr Manmohan Singh, a special committee was formed to probe into the matter. This was in addition to the investigation procedures of the Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI), Central Vigilance Commission (CVC), and Enforcement Directorate (ED)being underway.

Many of the who’s who, having a direct or indirect association of the Game’s organising committee were questioned. Based on the reports and subsequent charges, the CBI finally booked Mr Suresh Kalamadi, chairman of the Commonwealth Games Organising Committee under the allegations of corruption and mismanagement of the event.

Currently, Mr. Kalamadi is incarcerated at Tihar Jail, and is undergoing a trial. All is fine so far until a recent development
spurred up…he may be suffering from dementia, a disease that is related to loss of memory, impaired reasoning, and fits of personality changes….  But he is fit to be an MP. Not surprisingly as ex-Defense minister George Fernandes is a patient from Alzhiemer and and Parkinson’s diseases but a current Rajya Sabha member.
http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/politics/fernandes-was-assisted-in-taking-rajya-sabha-oath_100367164.html

And how can we forget the case of ex-Jharkand CM, who said he had Alzhiemer and forgot how to vote.
http://m.indianexpress.com/story_mobile.php?storyid=612861

This shows how the fates of the Indian sports persons were so far determined by a person who himself (may) suffers from a deterioration of intellectual faculties! It is also interesting to note that by so far his mental disorders were not known to the public. It is only when he has to evade the trials that such an issue cropped up.

Now, many of the Indian ministers have pioneered to the national shame and also have tried to escape the consequences by manipulating the prevalent corrupted machinery. But, none of them proved to be as inventive as Kalamadi is. If the case of Kalamadi suffering from dementia can be established before the court of law, then he will surely succeed to be out of the charges.

It leaves us with the question that if today this (suspected) ploy acquits Kalamadi, then tomorrow A Raja, M K Kanimozhi
(both booked under the law for practicing financial irregularities in 2G spectrum bids), and other high profile culprits can also walk away freely….and then Kasab will do the same.

May be this is the reason we lost the first two tests of the ongoing Cricket series with England, collective dementia by the entire team. But we as a nation forget everything to soon, so we all may have selective dementia, amnesia, ghajiniforious, short term memory loss,…etc..etc. Infy and Wipro should build human rams now.

I think this recent ploy, as infused for bailing out Kalamadi, has sourced its idea from Aamir Khan-starred Bollywood hit,
Ghajini. And we will soon see him coming out of Tihar with scribbles all over his body sans the 8-packs (in different currency) . Hope somewhere in those scribbles we will find out the actual amount that he has pocketed from the CWG fiasco.

Disclaimer Beta 40493: The character names are all fictional and used in fictional sense. But the pain is real!!!

Source for photos:
http://www.newsofdelhi.com/featured-post/amul-takes-on-suresh-ghajini-Kalamadi
http://www.newsofdelhi.com/its-weird/the-suresh-ghajini-Kalamadi-hot-on-twitter-people-rename-him-as-ghajini-2

Other Sources:
http://commonwealth-game-2010-delhi.blogspot.com/2010_09_01_archive.html
http://www.paulkavanagh.com/en/Costs-London-Olympics-2012.html
http://www.altiusdirectory.com/Sports/london-olympics-2012.html
http://www.jlars.co.uk/2011/07/27/london-2012-celebrates-one-year-to-go/
http://www.intangiblebusiness.com/Brand-Services/Marketing-services/News/What-are-the-London-2012-Olympics-worth~3087.html