Gilly Danda ka RANT

Dhoni’s Condom Moment Part II

From the PAST:
Appropriately enough, two of the most formidable opponents have been chosen to compete on this glorious occasion: India and England. As per Ashis Nandy “Cricket is an Indian game accidentally discovered by the English”. So, no two other cricket playing nations would be as appropriate to bask on this glorious feat of test cricket as India and England. Now India as the new lion pretends to sit in the throne which the great West-Indies team, Aussie under Steve Waugh and Aussie under Pointing (with Warne
and McGrath) sat… wish it would be the case.
The game was set for at the Mecca of cricket, Lord’s and the 100th test match began with loud cheering during the toss. I wonder if Mr. Pawar, of ICC fame, thought the cheering meant things would go India’s way. Dhoni’s won the toss, but lost the match… but where did he loose it?
·    Was it when turbanator failed to make it large? …he did make it large – not-out in the first inning J (check Harodia ji facebook page)
·    When the WALL kept running out of masons (partners) in the first inning?
·    Losing Jhakas Zak to damage?
·    Having no answers to KP’s double?
·    Or Naju (a good friend code name) still two tests away?
Well…we lost it, when Dhoni’s had his second condom’s moment!!! Playing safe is a good option, but how can I boost to my grandkids that I was there when we part of a great team in the same bracket which were led by great like – Sobers, Lloyd , and Waugh.
Avoiding the second inning chase (last west-indies test) earlier in the month was the first moment of safety for Dhoni. To go for the draw and not chasing down the modest west-indies target, showcased a first symptom of a sub-type of disease – top-rank-topple-lycis, and the phobia ‘Medomalacuphobia’
But by not allowing Hercules (re)haired Lanky boy bowl after lunch, SMG was left scratching whatever hair left on his head, and Bhog Harsh thinking about more weaving costs which may come his way. My refresh button begged for Lanky boy to
come back…but he did not. Instead of him coming other came J, and it was our cappy’s second condom moment. Lanky was bowling like a swansong and it could have made a difference between chasing 300 and 400 +.
Hey he is human…so he needs rest, isn’t so?
But then our Jumbo – Kumble is super human, when he with his secret white bandage mask, tried to take down the
great Lara (not Larra Dutta for my new age friends, but the real Lara). A link for my Lanky hairy friend: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/cricket/1984319.stm
Next time please don’t say I am human. We want you all to be super-humans for us. We love you all, adore you and emotionally attached. Your victory is our victory and your loss is our loss.
I fell in love with such heroes before…but I fear I will loose them…the gladiators are dying.
I am sure that my team will bounce back to full steam and reverse this Medomalacuphobia attitude. Our cappy Dhoni, has bounced back and will come back with full force. The English men just you wait (wait…are the English…English enough. Ahem…South African, Irish, Indian, And Pakistani). Well they are taking tips from us then.
So Mr. KF, instead of challenging to make it large…why don’t we make a new one which rings –  ‘Ðo you want it to make it safe?
I wonder what Dada’ was thinking…while commenting with old foe the Hussein?… may be both should have taken a shirt removing completion J for the old times sake.
The 2000th test match did not end as a dull and boring draw, but I am sure this is the turning point for our Cappy. He should think to grow back his goldilocks, and I call upon cric info to make a analysis of run’s scored BH (Before goldilocks Hair) and AH (After
goldilocks Hair). Who knows it may have the power of Hercules in it.
Wait.
Wait…
Wait……
Oh.
Yes…Yes… Medomalacuphobia means fear of loosing an erection (not electionJ, as someone once told me), could not find a fear for ‘going over the over-rate’. (Wikipedia, are you listening)
Declaration: I have written the above article while sleeping and not in a state of mind of seriousness. It’s a joke on me…and others (apart from the 2G, 3G, and (future 4G)…adarash – mining… Baba ji ki jai things going around). But come on….we need to vent out some place. So come on….Yalgaar bolo…and let’s wallop the English in their own-backyard. Otherwise don’t fretter… Mansur Haider will be joining your squad next year. (Watch this space). In the age of T20 cricket when the obituaries of test cricket has already been drafted, and lo behold the 2000th match being played, between the old lion and the new lion expected to rank up the ticket counters, test appetite and thrill quotient, and it DID!

Categories: Gilly Danda ka RANT

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