3 MONKEYS

Quit India Movement Redux – Angrezo Bharat Chodo! (But the opposite Happened!)

The British Raj Begins, as Mr. Murphy takes India down.

Two days before the Indian Independence Day, and One day before Pakistan’s, the British Raj begins again in 2011. How ironic 64 years after they left, they are now going to rule the Test ranking of the game they invented…and they not taken or snatched it from us, we have surrendered to them.

Before I go further let me introduce you to Mr. Murphy, who developed The Murphy Law which states that ‘Anything that can go wrong will go wrong’. This law is used a lot in aerospace lingo and engineers try work around this corollary albeit to a lesser degree of success.

Perhaps no other match in the recent history appeared to be so important to the Indian cricket team as the third test match. Being outplayed in the first two tests, the Indian team is currently brooding an uphill task to continue their reign in the longer version of the game… but alas the Lagan moment did not come. Did we miss a trick or we missed players like Bhuvan and Kachra in the team.

So let’s see how Murphy ’s Law has worked for team India(or should I say BCCI’s team) in this tour:

Pre Tour:
Have I made it large controversy – Do I need to say more, Mr. KF!
Injuries to Sehwag meant an opener short.

First and Second Test:
Bonked out as the team could not get the act together as big moments were not snatched.
DRS system…wait, Dysfunctional DRS system – No LBW comes to haunt India.

  • Imagine if DRS was not taken then Dhoni would have got KP out in the first game and then wala-wala (B.C.C.I should have refused DRS in the first place)
  • If complete DRS taken then LBW decision would have come in favour of India (B.C.C.I should have taken the DRS)
  • In short – If I do damn or if I don’t damn! Beech-wali haal hogayi. B.C.C.I tussi great ho!
  • In the second game we lost our other opener in a Ghambir fashion, and the other-other-other opener lasted less the Boycott’s mother calling him for tea.

Commentary Masla (Issue): As soon as Gavastri (Gavaskar and Shastri), spoke about how DRS system does not work and Shastri went one-on-one with Nasir Hussein on it… we get to know both are on a payroll of B.C.C.I, Rs. 4.5 Crores each (USD 1 Million) . WoW!!!

  • A food for thought – Ravi Shastri is in a committee which approved DRS, and yet he speaks against it… something not right. What was his voting patern?
  • Now the Brits had our commentators on the back-foot or was it disgruntled Indian who leaked out a message

Ghanta Issue: To Bell or not to Bell the spirit of the cricket issue, here also damn if we do, damn if you don’t. British media spoke of Tendulkar at the deciding factor and not Dhoni! The Old Divide and Rule thingy!

Tour Game: A much awaited answer to the queries regarding Zaheer Khan’s fitness soon came out in the practice game against some Northing team. Right from delivering the opening ball, he never looked to be comfortable. His run-up was shortened and he was not also bending his back up to the fullest level. Just after completing his 3 overs, he walked off the field with the team physio, holding his hamstring… and this some Northing team took the Indian bowlers for CHAI-BISCUIT as they went to tea at the day 2 at a score of 198 for no loss. The alarm bell had rung!!!!

Third Test: The butcher of Nazafgarh, as Sehwag our DEV-ASTRA, was all set to be introduced for the first time in the series through this match… for which he travelled more than 4000 miles to get a king pair or did a mini Agarkar. I still remember in the 90’s when Navjot Siddhu was pulled in as an emergency to Australia…guess what happened…a duck

  • When India was bowling it was looking an Indian pitch, and when we were batting it was looking as India pitch – (Nagpur one of Australia series which dada did not captain but Dravid did, this was before honorable Pawar came to power, and a green top was given to Aussies by ground staff)

But for me the game –set-match was done in West-Indies when we did not chase down the runs. Imagine the IPL members did not have the courage to go and fight. A defensive attitude, if we would have won that, then there could be a chance of winning the last game and holding on to the 1st position.

Read about Dhoni’s condom moment part II here – http://princecalledsourav.blogspot.com/2011/07/dhonis-condom-moment-part-ii.html

Its been two years since dada was made to retire, but they still could not finalize that spot for a player. Its been a musical chairs. I dread to think two years down the line…No Dravid – VVS and Sachin!!!!

So what’s next. I fully agree to Cricket Fauj statement…LETS BUILD A SEPARATE TEST TEAM – Sehwag, Gambhir, Virat Kohli, Pujara, Badrinath, Dhoni, Harbajan, Praveen Kumar, Ishant Sharma, Amit Mishra, Couple of other fast bowlers.

From Face-Tweet Land: (I remember when people made dada jokes like this…how times have changed)
What do u call eleven man watching fireworks? ? Indian Cricket Team 😀
Even English players dnt want to miss EPL action so they’re taking wickets quickly !!
India leads Cook by 174 runs. He needs to bat again! 😉 Target 175 for Cook.
Edgbaston Test: Ishant, sreesanth, mishra completed their hundreds.. PK in nervous 90’s…!
300 seems to be a jinxed score, even cook could not get it, not just India 😛
My mum plays d rising ball better than Raina.–Si r Geoffrey Boycott.
Vaseline on dravid’s bat this time:-P
Indian batsmen are like faithful husbands.. … they perform only at home……

Source:
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-xezxzEUCZL0/RkCWdLVn5mI/AAAAAAAAAqA/Aq-QPonxG_0/amul28.jpg

Disclaimer: All in the pun of it of a disgrunted Indian Pankha. But remember after the 1983 victory we lost West Indies series in India. So nothing to worry… the preparation and planning was not done, but it can be amended. India is going to win the next test match.

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