Operation Shaving-Beard: Worlds’ Greatest Detectives Converge in New Delhi to Solve Kalamadi Case (X-Files)

Kalamadi becomes Ghajini, so will Raja… Baja and Taja

Sitting across the round table are the world’s greatest detectives and crime fighters – Perry Mason, Miss Marple, Nancy Drew, Hercule Poirot, Simon Templar, Feluda, Byomkesh Bakshi and the best Sherlock Holmes. They have been called in by the Indian public to find where the CWG Delhi 2010 money has disappeared.

‘I know why we can’t solve it… its not present at all – nothing ever happened. The Indian public is living in their imagination’, said Perry Mason
‘What do you mean mon Ami?’ asked Poirot.
‘There is no crime’, replied back Perry Mason.
‘Yes he is right, if thousands of crores (millions of USD) of Iron Ore can be exported without anyone knowing in this country then a lot of ghosts works here’, said Miss Marple.
 ‘You mean it’s the X-files!’ said Nancy Drew and Simon Templar together. Simon winked at Nancy.

‘Aha…then we need Dana and Scully from the FBI’ said Feluda optimistically. All looked at Feluda in silence. Sherlock stood up, hands spread around the table with his head bent down, he spoke softly.

‘Even they will not be able to solve it…Kalamadi is the most intelligent person in this world…do a crime which never existed in first place. Its all in a imagination’
‘Does it mean we are all out of a job now?’ said Byomkesh Bakshi in a sarcastic tone.
Silence enveloped the chamber as they knew the succeeded in solving the crime but failed to bring justice.


Woha…..this did happen in my dream and we Indian as a nation now sits in the ruins of our ancient glory. Every odd day out, the broadcasting media come out with some news or the other that speaks of the degeneration of the entire system. Criminalisation and corruption are perhaps the two most common evil practices that are found widely in the present day Indian politics.

The reports on recently concluded Commonwealth Games (CWG) also point towards the same thing. The scandal revolves round improper allocation of resources, violation of rules to propagate favouritism, substantial financial irregularities, etc.

See the following analysis on mockery of numbers – (BPOs, KPO’s listen we no longer low cost/ economic destination). London Olympics 2012 vs. CWG Delhi 2010

  • Cost of London Olympics – USD $15 Billion (21 games events sold out 23)
    • Number of athletes participating : 10500
    • Number of countries sending athletes: 205
  • Cost of CWG Delhi 2010 – Ranges from USD $2.6 Billion  to USD $11.5 Billion
    • Number of athletes participating : 6081 (42% less then London 2012)
    • Number of countries sending athletes: 71 (65% less then London 2012)

Now comes the fun part:

  • CWG Delhi 2010: Average cost per athletes at per range of CWG estimate: US$ 0.4 million to US$ 1.9 million
  • London Olympics 2012: Average cost per athletes: US$ 1.4 million
  • CWG Delhi 2010: Average cost per country at per range of CWG estimate: US$ 36 million to US$ 162 million
  • London Olympics 2012: Average cost per athletes: US$ 73 million

So we had almost a mega Olympics like event without even we noticing it…ghosts around. And what did our leadership do?

Right after the completion of the event, under the direction of Ministry of Home Affairs and an intervention of the Indian Prime Minister Dr Manmohan Singh, a special committee was formed to probe into the matter. This was in addition to the investigation procedures of the Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI), Central Vigilance Commission (CVC), and Enforcement Directorate (ED)being underway.

Many of the who’s who, having a direct or indirect association of the Game’s organising committee were questioned. Based on the reports and subsequent charges, the CBI finally booked Mr Suresh Kalamadi, chairman of the Commonwealth Games Organising Committee under the allegations of corruption and mismanagement of the event.

Currently, Mr. Kalamadi is incarcerated at Tihar Jail, and is undergoing a trial. All is fine so far until a recent development
spurred up…he may be suffering from dementia, a disease that is related to loss of memory, impaired reasoning, and fits of personality changes….  But he is fit to be an MP. Not surprisingly as ex-Defense minister George Fernandes is a patient from Alzhiemer and and Parkinson’s diseases but a current Rajya Sabha member.

And how can we forget the case of ex-Jharkand CM, who said he had Alzhiemer and forgot how to vote.

This shows how the fates of the Indian sports persons were so far determined by a person who himself (may) suffers from a deterioration of intellectual faculties! It is also interesting to note that by so far his mental disorders were not known to the public. It is only when he has to evade the trials that such an issue cropped up.

Now, many of the Indian ministers have pioneered to the national shame and also have tried to escape the consequences by manipulating the prevalent corrupted machinery. But, none of them proved to be as inventive as Kalamadi is. If the case of Kalamadi suffering from dementia can be established before the court of law, then he will surely succeed to be out of the charges.

It leaves us with the question that if today this (suspected) ploy acquits Kalamadi, then tomorrow A Raja, M K Kanimozhi
(both booked under the law for practicing financial irregularities in 2G spectrum bids), and other high profile culprits can also walk away freely….and then Kasab will do the same.

May be this is the reason we lost the first two tests of the ongoing Cricket series with England, collective dementia by the entire team. But we as a nation forget everything to soon, so we all may have selective dementia, amnesia, ghajiniforious, short term memory loss,…etc..etc. Infy and Wipro should build human rams now.

I think this recent ploy, as infused for bailing out Kalamadi, has sourced its idea from Aamir Khan-starred Bollywood hit,
Ghajini. And we will soon see him coming out of Tihar with scribbles all over his body sans the 8-packs (in different currency) . Hope somewhere in those scribbles we will find out the actual amount that he has pocketed from the CWG fiasco.

Disclaimer Beta 40493: The character names are all fictional and used in fictional sense. But the pain is real!!!

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